Monday, August 10, 2009

Design Star Recap, week 4: Think Inside the Box

Episode 4. Lets get started...

Hello cast! Must be nice to wake up in such a beautiful house every day! Everyone is wondering, "what is the challenge going to be?" Jany wants to know if it's another kitchen. God help us if it is, Jany, that would get boring quickly. (Maybe Jany wants to complete her backsplash and be vindicated?)

Time for Clive Pearse, and here he is. "People in these economic times are not moving - they are improving." (Yes, got some of that going on myself lately.) You are to divide in to two teams of four. (I must note at this point that my oldest daughter prefers the paint can assignments instead of this way of dividing into teams.) I love how they all run for one team. Tashica is the new Torie, nobody wants her on their team. Everyone wants to be on Antonio's team. He looks cuter this week. Lonni makes the sacrifice to head on over to Team Doesn't Really Stand A Chance, and the teams are now even.

Each team will be assigned a garage. No one looks at all excited. The news that they get 10K seems to help their enthusiasm.

This week is a double elimination - and we see on confession cam that Tashica doesn't think she's going home this week. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!! That's a good one!

Dan, Nathan, Lonni, and Tashica are assigned the Lang's Garage. Let's call them Team Disaster Waiting to Happen... or Team Disaster for short. They want a rec room, entertainment area. The house has a Spanish style, so incorporate that. They point out that the garage door doesn't close all the way, nor does it lock. I'm guessing where we start is a new garage door - the client is always right, yes?

Jason, Torie, Antonio, and Jany are assigned the Caswell's Garage. Let's call them Team Beach. They want a grown up, quiet space. Bright, think "beach." Not "mexico beach", "Hamptons beach". (Honey, the last time I saw a movie with a Hampton's beach house in it I was looking at Grey Gardens... and your garage is pretty much there already!) So, to reiterate: "No" to Mexico and small children selling Chiclets and bracelets outside on the driveway, "Yes" to the Hamptons well-monied look with heiresses drunk driving down the street. Got it.

(Looking at both of these garages, one might get the idea that we need to bring in Peter Walsh from TLC for a little de-cluttering.)

It seems that Antonio is taking charge, so I'm sure Torie will be taking him aside later to "consult" a bit. He's much sexier when he's in charge. I have my doubts about the plywood flooring idea. Plywood just doesn't scream "chic" to me. Someone wonders if they should use green, and Jason makes a face and mentions she'll probably like it because she likes Colonial. He actually physically winces when he says, "Colonial." Do gays not approve of colonial? Is it Louis XVI or nothing for them?

Tashica is going on about how she's part of the team. OK, lets get real. They tolerate her presence... she's like that cousin you are forced to play with and include in your games at the family reunion. It's not a love connection.

Dan speaks of incorporating a bar. In a garage with no locking doors? The neighborhood teenagers are certainly excited about this development!

OK, NOW Tashica is whining that no one is listening to her. She says "sectional", no one responds. Dan says "sectional" and everyone loves the idea. Again, I must point out that there are certainly students at the Haverhill School of Home Staging that are more qualified than Tashica to be on this program - and everyone BUT her seems to be aware of this fact. She could shout, "Naked Neon Buddha Statues!" and Lonni would simply look past her and blink. Nathan needs to turn around and say, "Hey, have you forgotten that your entire team on the kitchen challenge voted you the weakest link? And that some of us are sleeping under shredded comforters every night might have slipped your mind... but I'm tired of pulling lint out of my hair in the morning. Shut. The. Hell. Up."

Team Beach is wondering how to create a beach theme without any windows. Good point. They're going to buy a garage door!

Team Disaster? Has also decided to buy a new door. Everyone will be so happy!

Lonni and Dan are going shopping.
Antonio is going shopping.
Lonni and Dan forgot the cash. Whoops.

Newsflash! Team Disaster has a new development - Now they're going to nix the new garage door! BAD BAD BAD. Their door doesn't close all the way, and doesn't lock - and this isn't a problem? No. Because people don't steal high end electronics or liquor. Ever.

Lots of construction going on, the teams seem to be working well together. Team Disaster is a little behind. As in their floor isn't done at all, but I'm sure it will be OK. After all, Tashica is known for being on the team that rallies at the end, right?

Day two, and that is a rough lookin crew.

Ahhh, Team Beach got their new garage door. GOOD JOB. Too bad the other team didn't take the same initiative.

Jany and Torie are going shopping. They have differing opinions. (to say the least!) Torie blurts out "I love SEARS!" That's one way to get extra time on camera this season. They haul through the shopping and set a world time record getting back to the team to help out.

Dan is teaching Tashica how to screw two boards together. Yea, you'd hate to tell her about pre-drilling something like that, right? No point in getting that very long ass screw going in the right direction before watching her send it out the side. I smell another unfinished room!

While Dan and Tashica build the Taj Mahal out of two by four kiln dried lumber, Nathan and Lonni are going shopping. Nathan and Lonnie are knocking the shopping out so fast!! Good for them. Except now they seem to be stuck in traffic. Dan has basically been working alone all day.

End of day two. The Hamptons room is coming together nicely. I don't understand the floor - but I'm sure it'll all make sense. I mean, who wouldn't put a white floor in a garage? It just makes good sense.

Frantic painting finish for Team Disaster. They are going to have to bust a hump tomorrow. They only have TWO HOURS to finish that mess? Holy cow. Because that is what homeowners want - one coat of paint, bad corners, and a ghetto garage door left in place. That'll make them smile!

Lonnie is resigned.
Antonio is confidant.

Morning hits, and we're at day three.
Two hours left to knock out the finish details, or (in the case of Team Disaster) the entire challenge except for the shopping. (And? When did SEARS become the international house of tchotchkes? You can accessorize a room with everything SEARS? Really?)

Team Beach is already loading in the room. The idea of wrapping the elliptical machine is great... why can't I ever think of stuff like that? Like before company comes... instead of vacuuming at the very last minute because I'm out of cleaning time? I could just wrap the vacuum cleaner up with a bow and the guests would know that my gift to them was the IDEA of vacuuming the floor. Brilliant! (I think I'll pull that one out at Thanksgiving for sure.) The judges are going to scorn this little side step, mark my words.

Team Disaster is nothing short of chaos. I love it! It makes my heart pound like I'm part of it. I'm nervous, and I can't wait to throw Tashica under the bus in front of the judges! Wait until you hear my speech! I'm thinking of hiring a children's choir to highlight the intensely shameful parts...Oh, wait... I'm not actually on this show? Crap.

With a half an hour left the rooms seem to be coming together... and I think they both finished.

Clive Pearse will now be showing the families around their new digs. He'll see the contestants at elimination. (He should mention that he'd like to see them showered and cleaned up, because with his British accent that would be hilarious!)

And suddenly here we are: ELIMINATION

Team Caswell: the Hamptoms Beach room

The homeowners love the new garage door! (which you can't see in the picture, but it has windows and is very nice.) They seem pleased with the room, and I think they really do love it - but they're in shock. They're pretty reserved people you can tell from their reaction.

Vern likes the homeowners reaction. Asks, "Who is responsible for the design?" They all had a part. Teamwork. Good stuff.
Candace thinks this room is unbelievably predictable and unoriginal. (Which, coincidentally, is what I'm beginning to think every time Candace opens her mouth.)
Vern notes that the Hamptons are more lush than this. AND Jany just threw Torie under the bus about her lack of style! ha ha! (Jany is obviously still bitter about the backsplash.) Did you see the bitch face Torie threw at Jany when she dogged her? Ha Ha!
Genvieve likes the floor solution.
Vern wants to know what Jason did. He did the color scheme and the wainscoting idea. I guess the judges think it's at a weird height, but why does it matter where the wainscoting ended... it looks good. Vern wanted it white... but lets face it, Candace would have called out WHITE wainscoting as "predictable". Lose/Lose situation there.
Vern was a bit peeved at the boxed elliptical machine. (See?)

Team Lang: Spanish Fly Entertainment Space.

Wow, they like it. Is it me, or is someone is going to kill themselves on the platform / garage door accident waiting to happen? Homeowners liked the interior, but were massively disappointed with the garage door. Gosh, did anyone see that coming??

Vern: Who is responsible for the garage door. Tashica hesitates not one second before she starts throwing people under the bus. Lonni stands up and says it was a group decision.
Dan pipes in with, "I did a lot of construction."
OK, I want to reach out and slap Tashica. She's nodding her head in sad agreement with Vern every time he says something negative - like she tried to change anything at all in this space. Please, bitch. Go home.
Candace doesn't like the mural, although I don't think it looks that bad.
Loni and Nathan shopped for furniture and styling...and Genevieve likes it
Tashica talks about how she physically labored, primed, and painted but was basically a worker... not an idea girl. Dan is doing a good job of saying Tashica really has no original ideas, but wants to think she does. I'd be mad if I were Dan, Lonni, and Nathan. Really mad. I love that Candace is lecturing her. Vern puts her on the spot... "just tell us what you did..."

Vern is up to something... side whisper to Candace, then Gen, then Clive.... He is kicking her out without deliberation!!! WOW. That is the slap I was looking for. Good for you Vern. So much more effective than "shut up."

Deliberation is going on... Vern doesn't like Nathan, Jany is pissing off Torrie, someone thinks Antonio is going home... what a mess this all is. I would think Tashica leaving would have brightened the mood more than this. Plus? I'm confused, because the judges don't seem to like either room. THEY ARE GARAGES, for goodness sake. Go with it.

Antonio and Dan: you guys always tend to be the anchors... Good job. Go wait in the green room.

Lonni, Jason, and Torie... all 3 of you have one thing in common, none of you take the lead. (ouch) Please go join the others in the green room.

Jany and Nathan, you are the weakest.
Jany your design style is textbook, you're not a star.
Nathan you always seem to have big ideas but lack confidence.

Jany, your show has been cancelled. (Lonnie will be so happy!!)

And.... finally... Ciao Tashica!

(Pictures can be found at, and are the property of HGTV Design Star.)


  1. OMG that was a great recap....I just have to add, what is up w/ janey flash dance wasn't even attractive in the 80's!

    I was so afraid they'd get rid of nathan...and I actually liked his flower...maybe it would have translated better if the other stuff worked.

    I can't believe how Janey just went for the jugular...that was just mean and torrie's so not about meanness! especially after the 'kumbaya' sweetness of all them saying how they worked so backfired on janey! if she had given torrie kudos for the choices torrie would be going home...

    and tashica, my goodness it was painful listening to her....

    unless jason steps up i predict he goes home next week!

  2. Tashica, right? Listening to her - at one point my ears started bleeding. It was awful, I'm so glad Vern made it stop.

    I think Jany was weak, but I think you're right that Torie was almost on the chopping block this week. See, Lonni could have gotten chopped SO easily last week - but it's like she knew when to keep her mouth shut, and gave a shout out to people who helped her. They're not going to give a television show to a whiny shrew.

    I'm with you on Jason. I think he's next. I was thankful he was less featured this week - because I'm not kidding... he's Will Ferrell to me now. I can't get past it.

  3. Patrick "Moosey" ChangAugust 12, 2009 at 6:17 AM

    I like Vern, he's so Yippy.
    and Tashika is just plain scary.
    Bye bye Tashika!

    Sunday night is my favorite tv night!

  4. "Moosey",
    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I agree completely. Vern rocks, and Tashica scared me.

    Would love to watch Design Star with you guys sometime... we could collaborate on an entry!