Again, missed last week. A dog that ran away on Sunday evening (whom we recovered at a local shelter on Monday, thank God) pretty much set the tone for my week - which included stomach flu and finishing up some painting in the living room. I didn't even watch the show until Tuesday... hence, a week with no blogging. Let do a quick overview of the backyard, shall we?
Torie wanted to be the project manager. Torie must never have watched "The Apprentice," or she would know that you only take PM jobs at the BEGINNING of the season. PM jobs are your ticket out unless everything goes perfectly - which wasn't going to happen this late in the season since we all knew that at least one person was going to sabotage this for Torie... narrowing down the field. PM almost always takes the fall on the losing team - and HEY! There was only ONE TEAM! There was no winning team! (They should have worked in teams of two, HGTV Design Star. Please take note.) I have to fault the judges here, because - as much as I like our little Noddy / Drummer Boy / Pinocchio character, Dan, he was the one that took this episode South. We all saw him lie. I wonder if the judges watch this episode in hindsight, see the footage they never saw before, and think they made the wrong choice? I liked the montage of presentation at the end, and Torie was a way better presenter than Dan - who is still channeling a misguided geisha when the "on-air" light is turned on. The backyard was pretty, but the homeowner could have put in a lawn themselves. It was a lot of work, don't get me wrong. However, it was merely decorated and not designed.
OK we're caught up! Let's dish.
Have you noticed that the only person they show getting out of bed seems to be Dan? Maybe that is why they picked him last week? (The certainly couldn't show Torie first thing in the morning. Nobody - especially Torie - wants to see Torie without makeup.)
There are those paint cans again! This is how they are assigned the celebrities they will work with this week. They get extra time this week, 2 carpenters, and $20,000. (do you have any idea what I could do with a room if I had 20K and two carpenters?????)
Dan is gushing WAY to hard about Jason Priestly. I guess it would be pretty exciting, but 90210 was a while ago. Wow, looks like Jason married Kelli Taylor after all - he certainly has a type! His wife is a beautiful girl, Naomi, and their daughter is darling. Dan will be decorating a nursery for their unborn son.
Lonni draws Tiffani (Amber) Thiessen. Also of 90210 fame, but more widely known for her courageous thespian challenge as Kelly Kapowski on "Saved by the Bell," Tiffani is now married and has a lovely home. We meet her husband, Brady. They are a gorgeous couple.
Antonio gets Kathy Griffin. Bwa Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Kathy loves the gays... I mean it! Kathy LOVES the gays! Getting the only straight designer is not going to please her at all. (Me either, Kath. I always want the gay designer - unless they're re-doing your kitchen. Then? ALWAYS pick the straight guy! See my Kitchen episode recap for more on this subject.) She goes for this right away, mentioning her worry that a straight guy cannot get the design job done. Sadly, I'm not feeling a love connection here - and I think Antonio was assuming Kathy would fall for his swarthy good looks and very pointy teeth.
I am loving the room that Lonni is going to decorate - that built-in cabinetry is beautiful! They want a contemporary, eclectic, traditional, not modern guest room. Lonnie can probably nail this, and as long as she stays away from her "signature" focal wall treatment she'll be fine.
Jason and wife want a beachy, nautical, cape cod, California beach house theme. Nursery / toddler room / guest room? Did I hear that correctly? I also don't think they have a nanny - because that 18 month old daughter of theirs seems to be in every shot with them, and it's distracting. But, it gives the message of "hands on parenting", as opposed to the message I send out to the world, which is "ears closed parenting." I think theirs is probably a more effective parenting style.
Kathy needs an office for her three employees. Hating the straight guy, she dogs on Antonio's camo shorts, which are strangely reminiscent of his camo man-pris that he wore a couple of episodes ago. Did he re-purpose them? She is willing to let him design away - whatever color and style he wants. Her house is pretty "less is more," in that it's not cluttered. I think he has the hardest room - because if he's not careful he'll just end up with cubicles against walls.
As we start the projects we are with Dan. Discussing things that go in a nursery.
Lonni is doing a sustainable, eco friendly guest room.
Antonio is trying to measure out the desk units.
OK, Dan just told the sales girl that he is "doing a nursery for an expectant young boy..." Ha Ha ha! And he picked out totally girly furniture. Blech.
Antonio is picking out flooring. Do they have to rip that tile out first, or level it out? Will this floor be glued to it? If so, won't that be awfully high compared to the flooring in the hallway? Inquiring minds want to know! (Inquiring minds who just happen to be obsessed with flooring right now, and let me tell you what a bitch it is to fit flooring in to a bay window area that has heat ducts... huh? Oh, right. The recap of MY life is being written on a different blog. Sorry... back to Design Star...)
Lonni shops for what I imagine is organic bamboo bedding.
Could someone please stop Dan? He's picking out GIRL FURNITURE! That trundle bed is totally Pottery Barn for Kids in the GIRL section! How is a white scalloped sleigh daybed nautical and boyish?
Antonio and his big chunky silver bangle bracelet are picking out a purple color palette.
This morning Dan gets a visit from HGTV's John Gidding! Who even Dan doesn't know, as this guy has to introduce himself! The name John Gidding means nothing to me, even after I google him. He is a designer on "Design to Sell"... which doesn't help me at all since the only designer I know from that show is Lisa Laporta. (Who has darling on-screen chemistry with Clive Pearse-never-going-to-be-Owen.) Don't have someone we might know show up for commentary - have some random guy walk in. That will be effective. I wonder if Dan even knew who this guy was? Did he have to google him too before his confession cam entry? John doesn't love Dan's ideas. John thinks light blue is an overpowering color. John is kidding, right?
Now John Gidding is with Antonio. Generic conversation.
We see Lonni shopping - and STOP! The words "Focal Wall" just came out of her mouth. Lonni? Is going home if she throws out that focal wall idea again - no matter how beautiful that wall covering is, and it is. Beautiful. John Gidding visits Lonni. You can see that she has no idea who he is, but he's cute! Please tell me that those matchstick blinds are going away?
This is the day where it all has to come together. They have 8 hours left. We see them finishing up shopping, finishing projects, getting things on the walls.
Dan has a flat screen TV over the changing table. Why? Who thinks "television" when they are decorating a nursery?
Big push to finish.
Enter Clive: "times up!"
Time for Elimination!!
(Side note: When Clive introduces the judges I have to stop. Doesn't Candace look beautiful tonight? Her arms rock, and that color on her is lovely. Vern and Genevieve look OK, but Candace is shining.)
Who is up first? Dan, please step forward.
(Who, can I tell you, I cannot picture watching for 30 minutes in a shot. Ever.)
First of all, the clients loved it. Naomi called it Delicious.
I liked it, I didn't love it. I think it didn't really have enough whimsy for me to think "kids room" when I saw it. The patterns, fabrics, and furniture (aside from the crib and top of the dresser/changing table) did not look like a kids room to me. Why would a baby / toddler want a sitting area with a television? That said, it was very pretty to look at, and the colors were soothing. It did have a coastal feeling about it.
Genevieve thought it worked on many levels. And she liked the curtains.
Candace loved the sculptural quality of the boat mobiles.
Vern liked the painting. Vern still hates Dan's giggle.
Genevieve thinks he is still a stiff presenter.
Lonnie, please step forward.
The clients LOVE LOVE LOVE this room. They want to hire her again - which I think is so cute.
I like this room, a lot. I think it's very pretty.
Vern thinks Lonni is gorgeous on camera.
Genevieve said she had a nice temperament, and Candace thought that made her sound like a labradoodle - which is funny.
Candace likes the big bang statement walls that Lonni does, but Genevieve thinks they are too repetitious.
Vern wants to know why the headboard is low. OOPS! But, overall he likes the room.
Antonio, please step forward.
Kathy isn't overwhelmed, but she likes it. He's the first straight guy she ever liked.I like the custom workstations - but WAIT!!! (and I had to rewind to see this...) The paint is not finished! Behind Kathy is the french door... if you look carefully you can see they didn't cut in around it. He didn't even finish that room!
Vern likes that Antonio has his own hosting style.
Candace just has it bad for Antonio. He's her "bullet point guy." Ha Ha.
Genevieve likes it, Candace is all over the color.
Vern said that the items might not be properly scaled.
Genevieve is waiting for something unpredictable from him.
The judges have a hard time choosing.
Dan: You designed an absolutely gorgeous space. BUT, your presenting - while energetic, feels forced. You need to relax. Perhaps watch a few episodes of Noddy, or "the Little Drummer Boy" to get your groove back.
Lonni: You gave the client what they wanted and are relaxed in front of the camera. However, even though your room was beautifully decorated, your headboard wasn't attached to the wall. We feel that since you only gave your delivery and installation people 8 hours to install that headboard and they couldn't pull it off, you can't multitask. Shame on you.
Antonio: You are unique and authentic as a host. Your color choice was fresh and so pretty we question that you are actually straight. What set us back on the right path was that you totally missed opportunities in this room to accessorize - which no gay man would have missed. Also, that rug sucked.
Lonni, (because we had the least amount of negative things to say about you this week) your show has been cancelled. Please exit the studio.
(My thoughts on this will be posted later this week. This is the third time this season that the wrong person has gone home... and it has affected the outcome of this game.)